內容簡介
內容簡介 Based on his nationally award-winning humor columns, Joe Parker's Covered in Poo is what first-time dads can expect; the good, bad, and the downright gross. Broken up into three "guy-mesters," let Parker guide you on how fatherhood will change you, pregnancy and birth, and how to take care of a newborn while being completely overwhelmed. Dads-to-be learn valuable advice and brutal truths on a bevy of pertinent topics, including; Trying to be a functioning human, a new father and a member of polite society while receiving an amount of sleep that, in any other situation, would be considered a human rights violation How being a dad will change your appearance (You will only change your shirt if it has more than three spit-up stains) Supporting your pregnant partner (How saying 'I'm Tired' can get you killed) A guide to parenting terms (If you need a description of what a bottle warmer is, you should reconsider becoming a father) Feeding a baby and the phenomenon they don't starve despite spitting everything up they ingest Dealing with dirty diapers (The unavoidable horrors of raising a child) Getting baby to sleep (Do not give your child sleep-inducing drugs. They'll just get used to them and you'll be back to square one.") Discerning sickness in your newborn (Step one: Panic) Finding great childcare (Negative sign during a daycare tour: You're stabbed in the parking lot) Vacationing with a newborn (Only through fatherhood can you guarantee you will return from a vacation more stressed than you were before it.)