The Life-Saving Divorce: Hope for People Leaving Destructive Relationships

You Can Love God and Still Get a Divorce

And get this, God will still love you. Really.

UPDATED 4/12/2026 - Updated 127 facts, illustrations, and studies.

Are you in a destructive marriage? One of emotional, physical, or verbal abuse? Infidelity? Neglect?

If yes, you know you need to escape, but you're probably worried about going against God's will. I have good news for you. You might need to divorce to save your life and sanity. And God is right beside you.

In The Life-Saving Divorce You'll Learn:

- How to know if you should stay or if you should go.
- The four key Bible verses that support divorce for infidelity, neglect, and physical and/or emotional abuse.
- Twenty-seven myths about divorce that aren't true for many Christians.
- Why a divorce is likely the absolute best thing for your children.
- How to deal with friends and family who disapprove of divorce.
- How to find safe friends and churches after a divorce.

If you need a Life-Saving Divorce, there is hope for you, your faith, and your kids!

"Gretchen is giving freedom for captives. She helped me think deeply about deeply held wrong ideas related to divorce!" -Pastor Neil Schori, pastor at The Edge Church, key witness in the Drew Peterson murder case

"When I think of Gretchen, I think of the words: Needed, truth-telling, hope. She filled in the data and research behind the things I knew by experience, both personally and from others I know. There is so much bad Christian advice that doesn't acknowledge destructive marriage and abuse, this truth is so needed in the world." - Jodi Pompa, Twitter

"Necessary, overdue, comforting. Gretchen helped me realize so many people are struggling with false guilt over this issue." -Rachel Ramer

"Sympathetic, liberating, rational. She helped me not feel the pressure of having to sustain a marriage on my own and [helped me understand] that divorce is a valid option instead of continually being made to feel less than or staying with someone who doesn't want to stay with you." -Jeffrey Lewis

"Refreshing, eye- opening, life-changing. She helped me get rid of the guilt I felt for divorcing my abusive husband." - Sarah Smith

"She's an advocate, empowerer, and strong. She helps release shame for being a divorced Christian woman." -Sandi Moore

"Gretchen is supportive, unapologetic, and confirming. She helped me understand I am not alone in my divorce walk. That the Christian community need not vilify already damaged spouses who have to seek divorce." -Holli Lewis

Christian Leaders say...

"I have been in ministry for roughly 20 years as a pastor, church planter, missionary and mentor of church leaders. After reading this book I am both exceedingly grateful that it now exists and heartbroken that I did not have this resource the first 20 years of my ministry. When it comes to my response to people hurting in difficult marriages, I have committed countless errors and sat silently while other church leaders did the same. This book would have saved me from every one of them."-Cole Brown

"...this book is both empathic and well researched, employing the latest stats alongside clear advice. A must for anyone involved in pastoral work and a lifeline for those suffering within marriages." -Rev. Dr. David Instone-Brewer, www.DivorceRemarriage.com