Fire in Every Direction

「讀完這本書之後，我整個人被改變了。」——《Solito》作者 Javier Zamora

來自知名巴勒斯坦學者的一部回憶錄——關於政治與酷兒意識的覺醒、跨越世代的流離失所下誕生的不可能之愛，以及「回家」究竟意味著什麼。

《Fire in Every Direction》既是一段愛情故事，也是一部橫跨國家與大陸的成長歷程，在幽默與失落、鄉愁與希望之間遊走，從中東一路寫到倫敦，從 1948 年延伸至今日。Tareq Baconi 以極度私密、令人難忘的筆法，描繪政治意識——欲望與抵抗——是如何在家族世代間流動、傳承。

1948 年，當猶太復國主義民兵攻占海法時，Tareq 的祖母 Eva 被迫逃離家園。1970 年代末，她又在黎巴嫩內戰中帶著女兒 Rima 逃往貝魯特。到了安曼，一家人終於有了較安穩的中產生活——然而年少的 Tareq 依舊感到被困：被沈默文化、被「不屬於任何地方」的漂浮感、還有他逐漸意識到自己深深愛上兒時玩伴 Ramzi 的事實所困。

到倫敦念大學後，Tareq 希望能將過去拋在腦後，開始面對作為一名酷兒的自我認識。但隨著伊拉克戰爭激起全球年輕人的反戰浪潮，那些被壓抑的歷史再次湧上心頭：他聽見隱秘的家族低語，母親當年在貝魯特的政治行動，以及她曾在短暫寧靜時刻返回巴勒斯坦的故事。

在中東與倫敦之間來回穿梭的生活，使 Tareq 感到自己無處真正屬於。酷兒身份在安曼遭到壓抑，而作為巴勒斯坦人，他在西方又被視為外人。這種雙重的疏離逐漸加深，迫使他直面自己長期生活在「夾縫」中的現實，並重新思考「家」的真正意義。

最終，追隨家族的足跡，Tareq 踏上回到巴勒斯坦的旅程。

這是一段在被剝奪的歷史裡尋找自我、並奪回那些被迫沈默聲音的動人記述。

LitHub’s Most Anticipated Books of 2025

“I am forever changed after reading this book.” —Javier Zamora, author of Solito

From the renowned Palestinian scholar, a memoir of political and queer awakening, of impossible love amidst generations of displacement, and what it means to return home.

Both a love story and a coming-of-age tale that spans countries and continents, Fire in Every Direction balances humor and loss, nostalgia and hope, as it takes us from the Middle East to London, and from 1948 to the present. Tareq Baconi crafts a deeply intimate, unforgettable portrait of how a political consciousness—desire and resistance—is passed down through generations.

In 1948, Tareq’s grandmother, Eva, would flee Haifa as Zionist militias seized the city. In the late 1970s, she would flee Beirut with her daughter, Rima, as the country was in the throes of a civil war. In Amman, the family would eventually obtain the comfort of middle-class life—still, a young Tareq would feel trapped: by cultures of silence, by a sense of not belonging, by his own growing awareness that he is in love with his childhood best friend, Ramzi.

After relocating to London for college, Tareq hopes to put aside his past, and begins to work through an understanding of self as a queer man. Yet as the Iraq War radicalizes young people around the world towards anti-war protest, history comes back to him: hushed whispers overheard, stories of his mother’s years as an activist in Beirut and her return to Palestine during a moment of calm.

Living between the region and London, Tareq fits in neither and feels alienated from both. Queerness is policed back in Amman, just as his Palestinian-ness is abroad. These gradual estrangements escalate, forcing him to grapple with what it means to live in liminal spaces, and rethink the meaning of home. Eventually, tracing the journey of his family before him, Tareq returns to Palestine.

This is an account of finding oneself through histories of dispossession and reclaiming what has been silenced.