Fang Si-Chi's First Love Paradise: A Novel

令人心碎卻無能為力的真實故事。 如果這件事情正在發生，我們要怎麼假裝世界上沒有人以強暴小女孩為樂？ 
「我下樓拿作文給李老師改。他掏出來，我被逼到塗在牆上。老師說了九個字：『不行的話，嘴巴可以吧。』我說了五個字：『不行，我不會。』他就塞進來。那感覺像溺水。可以說話之後，我對老師說：『對不起。』有一種功課做不好的感覺。」

痛苦的際遇是如此難以分享，好險這個世界還有文學。

小小的房思琪住在金碧輝煌的人生裡，她的臉和她可以想像的將來一樣漂亮。補習班國文名師李國華是同一棟高級住宅的鄰居。崇拜文學的小房思琪同樣崇拜飽讀詩書的李老師。
有一天李老師說，妳的程度這麼好，不如每個禮拜交一篇作文給我吧，不收妳周點費。思琪聽話地下樓了。老師在家裡等她，桌上沒有紙筆。
思琪的初戀是李老師。因為李老師把她翻面，把他的東西塞進去。那年的教師節思琪才十三歲，這個世界和她原本認識的不一樣。
如果這是愛情，為什麼覺得暴力？為什麼覺得被折斷？為什麼老師要一個女學生換過一個女學生？如果這不是愛情，那滿口學問的李老師怎麼能做了以後，還這麼自信、無疑、無愧於心？
　　

這是一部驚人而特別的小說，小說作者既具有高度敏銳的感受力、又是一個近距離目擊者，使這整件事像一個「倖存的標本」那樣地被保留下來。整本書反覆地、用極度貼近被侵害者的視角，直直逼視那種「別人奪去妳某個珍貴之物」的痛苦──且掠奪之人是以此為樂。

本書介出自游擊文化出版社《房思琪的初戀樂園》

The most influential book of Taiwan’s #MeToo movement—a heartbreaking account of sexual violence and a remarkable reinvention of the trauma plot, turning the traditional Lolita narrative upside down as it explores women’s vulnerability, victimization, and the lengths they will go to survive.

Thirteen-year-old Fang Si-Chi lives with her family in an upscale apartment complex in Taiwan, a tightknit community of strict yet doting parents and privileged children raised to be ambitious, dutiful, and virtuous. She and her neighbor Liu Yi-Ting bond over their love of learning and books, devouring classic works—Proust, Gabriel García Márquez, the very best Chinese writers. Yet, it is their lack of real-world education that makes them true kindred spirits.

Si-Chi’s innocence is irresistible to Lee Guo-hua, a revered cram literature teacher and serial predator who lives in her building. When he offers to tutor the academic-minded girls for free, their parents—unaware of Lee’s true nature—happily accept. While Yi-Ting’s studies with Lee are straightforward, Si-Chi learns about things no one teaches them in school—lessons about sex and love that will change the course of her life. Confused and uncertain, Si-Chi turns to her beloved books for guidance. But literature tells her nothing honest about rape or how to cope with the trauma of abuse. For her own salvation, the young girl begins to think of her personal hell as her “first love paradise,” where the power of love, no matter how twisted, gives her the strength to survive.

One of the biggest books to come out of Taiwan in the last decade, Fang Si-Chi’s First Love Paradise is a chilling tale of grooming and its lingering trauma, and the power structures that allow it to flourish. Insightful, unsettling, emotionally raw, it is a staggering work of literature that reverberates across cultures and forces us to confront painful truths about the vulnerability and strength of women and those who use and hurt them.

Translated from the Chinese by Jenna Tang